Warhammer Info - Shenanigans - How to Waste 40 Bucks

Like everyone else out there, I've been desperately looking for something to play while waiting for WAR. So I cruised down to the local Best Buy and decided to make an impulse purchase. I started browsing the PC game section when a box on the bottom shelf caught my eye.

Hot elf chick... check.
Hot elf chick with elf boobs ... check.
Hot elf chick with elf boobs and bikini armor ... check.
Goblin with a rock hard six pack ... um, check.

All the bases were obviously covered, so I headed to the checkout while phoning my brother. I told him to go pick up Silverfall and we'd tear through it in Multiplayer together. Had I known the horrors that I would encounter in the coming hours, I would have ran screaming out the door before I forked over my forty bucks. Unfortunately, I was walking blind. I even gave Silverfall the honor of my trademarked PC Game Purchase Ritual™ (reading the manual while driving on the way home).

I installed the game and jumped online. The first clue that I had just purchased the biggest piece of vaporware since Darkstone was now in plain sight. There were a total of 5 players online. My brother and I were two of them. Five. Not five hundred. Not fifty. Five. Keep in mind Silverfall was released about 4 months prior to my purchase... Perhaps just as interesting, I could create as many online accounts as I wanted. There was no CD key or activation code with the game.

But we ignored even these warnings. We created our level 1 pwn machines and started a new game. All of the following happened in the next hour:

- I locked up during zoning, causing me to lose all character progress.
- Brother received a Fatal Error that crashed the game and corrupted his character forcing him to reroll.
- Game randomly "lost connection" twice.
- Brother zoned - got loading screen for about 5 minutes - and then finally reappeared right back where he was.
- Main quest line became bugged, placing us on different steps. We had to reroll again.

Pretty awful, but the best (worst?) problem of them all was still to come. After a routine random crash to the main menu, I received this error when trying to recreate the game:

So I attempted the other possible game mode:

I even tried creating a single player game:

At this point, I became curious to see if this game had even went through some form of testing, so I headed to the Credits section of the manual. There had indeed been testers, but I found this little gem that really wrapped it all up pretty nicely:

Awesome.